The Truth Hurts

So, last night I spoke to my boyfriend about my feelings regarding the whole "give it a go" thing we have going on with our relationship. It was tough to start the conversation because I knew I was going to be saying things that would be hurtful to him. But then I knew that if I held it all in then we would never get anywhere.

I told him that I didn't think he was actually putting any effort into our relationship, and that if he took the effort he puts into seeing his friends and arranging his gym schedule and gave me just 5% of that effort then it would be a huge improvement. He was definitely shocked. I don't think he realised that I felt so under-appreciated. So we had a serious chat and now I actually feel a little better. I don't feel so worthless in his eyes anymore. I think being a bitch for 2 minutes was worth it for him to see that the effort needs to come from both of us. But, man, the truth hurts!

Who knew life could go downhill so fast? A few months ago I was thinking of whether we were ready for children....now I'm trying to work out if I'll still be with him when my next haircut is due!

We're now going to try and move ahead, with actual effort from both sides. My plan is to try and carry on as normal with just an eye on making sure I don't take him for granted. If I'm not good enough for him like I am then that is how it is. I can't pretend to be someone different, I'm not perfect, but I'm pretty alright!

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As I've been trying to figure my way through this mess, I may have done some Googling for advice. There are some right wankers on the internet! I got slightly distracted by the bad advice and lost track of my own Googling.

My current favourite [or least favourite, not sure?] was a website where a girl had emailed in to say that her boyfriend was losing interest in her and they hadn't been having much sex recently. The answer started off with a great statement about how the main problem was that she was having sex with her boyfriend. Pre-marital sex was obviously the only problem to deal with! It was an actual blog though, where they had obviously taken her email and then written a whole blog post about it. If they didn't agree with premarital sex then they could have just ignored the email, but no off they go to post about how her whole relationship problem could be boiled down to the fact they were having sex before marriage!